Finding a balance

The Chicago Tribune had a story today about how kindergarten is the new first grade. 
"Forget cookies and milk, nap time and finger painting. Kindergarten has gotten serious in the past 20 years — and even more so in the past 10. Due to forces ranging from rising parental expectations to the No Child Left Behind Act, many children now attend full-day programs complete with homework and standardized testing."

This is one of the reasons I don't want to do mainstream schooling.  I really think that kids need to be KIDS and that children will naturally want to learn and grow and do the things they see grown-ups doing.  They play make-believe and get dressed up and go "to work" or pretend to read their favorite book or develop an understanding of how mixing red and blue fingerpaints makes purple. 

But this evening, I found myself frustrated and irritated when my 3 1/2 year old boy didn't want to write "S" in his "reading lessons book".  Instead, he was making very good "E"s and drawing zig-zag mountains.

And I lost my patience.  "Focus. We are doing 'S' now."  "Look at the paper." "Trace the letter." 

We were both near tears when I asked Beloved to take over the lesson.  I knew *I* was not helping Boy learn at that point...and that "learning" was turning into a trial to be endured.  Beloved and Boy did work together for another 15-20 minutes, and there were some "S"s made.  Beloved only said that maybe doing lessons at a different time would help.

I signed into the "Homeschooling Preschoolers" group on The Homeschool Lounge and looked at the most recent posts, hoping to find reassurance and a reminder that they are just kids.  In the top discussions, the discussions revolved around curriculum and worksheets.  For preschoolers???  To be honest, I'm skirting freak-out time!  At the preschool level, where is the balance between teaching discipline and focus and meaningless drills?  How do you know when you are pushing too hard?