I owe a big THANK YOU to my Beloved. I was in a bad space and I couldn't get the words out in the moment, although tears did well up in my eyes.
He simply said that the house looks pretty dang good. That of all of his friends, the only place that looks better is our friend Einhander, but he lives at home with his mom who works part-time and spends the rest of the time cleaning a practically-empty house. That compared to our other friends, I do an amazing job keeping up with the kids and life and the yard.
The problem is the endless list in MY head of what isn't done. The negatives that eat at me until I get up and run laundry and clean toilets at 12:30 am and gnaw on my self-esteem until I get overwhelmed, fall apart, and scream and cry. It's driving me crazy, and it is starting to pull the world around me into the maelstrom.
*sniffles* I know this kind of praise isn't a rarity...Friends of all kinds remind me that they love coming here for the sense of order, love, and comfort. Beloved tells me often, and it is sincerely meant. On the mirror on my dresser, there are more than a dozen notes, cards, and happy thoughts...little trinkets that he has given me to remind me that I AM DONG A GOOD JOB.
Thank you for saying it. Thank you for noticing. Thank you for being a part of it. Thank you.
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